Oddjobs 2: This time it's Personnel by Heide Goody & Iain Grant

Author:Heide Goody & Iain Grant [Goody, Heide]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Birmingham, Humor, workplace. horror, Humour, Comedy
ISBN: 9780995749719
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
Published: 2017-08-25T07:00:00+00:00

Waiting in the New Street Station concourse, Rod Campbell realised just how nervous he was when he caught himself unconsciously reaching for a pistol that was not there – a gun that was in the gut of a dead Dinh’r somewhere under the streets of Birmingham, a gun that he wouldn’t be wearing now anyway because he was off duty and firearms weren’t regarded as mandatory equipment for dates.

“It’s not even a date,” he muttered to himself.

How could he be nervous? He’d been on dates before. Okay, not dates as such but, in a past life he had flung himself into the pub and club scene and engaged in those ancient mating rituals that involve necking pints, strutting one’s funky stuff and trying it on with every lass in the club until he found one with sufficiently low standards. God, that was a past life, he thought. In terms of actual “everyone, this is my girlfriend” girlfriends, it had been more years than he could count on his hands (including the missing finger). How could he be nervous? He’d confronted the very hordes of hell. He’d faced off with a man-eating starfish. He’d taken down mutant toad men. He’d stood in the lair of Yoth-Sheol-Niggurauth, mother of a thousand young, and bargained –

Oh, heck, there she was!

Dr Kathy Kaur walked towards him from the platform escalators. She was a vision of – okay, she wasn’t a vision of loveliness or anything; Rod was nervous, he wasn’t a love-struck mooncalf – but she was a vision of someone who had made an actual effort with their appearance. She was wearing a dress that wrapped over at the waist, hugging her figure in a way that was simple and yet very alluring. Rod had nipped into the office loos, changed into a fresh shirt and ditched his tie.

“Hi, Campbell.”

“Kathy.”

A wave of fresh panic washed over Rod. It wasn’t a date but it was sort of date-ish. Should he give her a kiss on the cheek, Euro-style? Wasn’t that what everyone did now? Or was that unprofessional? But they weren’t in work. Should he? Yes, no, no, yes, maybe. No.

He leaned in a little and then, as an absolutely nothing gesture, patted her elbow.

She frowned at him with those expressive eyebrows of hers.

“Busy day?” she said.

“Always is,” he said.

“Maybe a beer is in order.”

“Christ, yes,” he said.

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